Dealing with infertility

When you’re dealing with the difficulties of infertility, whether you have a diagnosis of its cause or not, life can become a constant round of thermometers, calendars, strategically placed pillows and a complete lack of spontaneity.

The practical elements of trying to conceive are a very valid part of enabling you to fulfil your dream of starting or expanding your family. For those going through the difficulties of yearning for a baby and having the disappointment each month of knowing that it hasn’t happened, it can become all consuming.

When couples are given a reason for the difficulty in conceiving, it can help to at least explain why things aren’t happening as you expect them to. There are so many medical interventions, long before you need to consider IVF and often, depending on the cause of the problem, much more effective in overcoming fertility problems as they’re directed at the specific cause and therefore offer a better chance of success.

For those struggling with unexplained infertility, it can feel like another blow to be told that there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong. All the relevant parts are functioning as they should and yet when it comes down to the basics, it’s just not happening.

Couples dealing with this type of fertility problem can often feel frustrated by constant disappointment. Sometimes the ongoing sense of disappointment can have an adverse effect on a couple’s relationship and, in some cases, can push a relationship to the limit.

The crucial thing to remember, and it can be extremely difficult at times, is why you came to be a couple in the first place. The relationship you had together before you felt ready to become parents. This is not to say that you should be forgetting about your desire to have a baby, on the contrary, it is an important part of your relationship. It’s just to remember in all of that that you are still a couple underneath it all and you still deserve to enjoy time for dates, spontaneous sex, and guilt free time for the two of you.

Sometimes there are psychological blocks that stop you from conceiving; subconscious thoughts or memories that may be acting as a barrier to conception. This can be for either partner and may be something that was said to you a long time ago, something that simply doesn’t apply anymore and yet it continues to have a significant effect on the mind at a time when the exact opposite is the focus of your life.

Try using positive visualizations of you conceiving, positive affirmations like; I’m ready to become a mother, I’m in the best place to become a mother, I’m ready to release all past negative thoughts about having a baby. Use words that resonate with you and your partner. Feel the words, hear them in your mind and see the focus of your goal in your mind’s eye. Use the wonderful power of your mind to keep all thoughts positive and in tune with what you want to happen. Send your body the right message and keep your thoughts positive and focussed.

Ultimately, try to keep your goal in balance with your life, your relationship and your inner self.

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